I resolve

I like new beginnings. I love the feeling of a new slate. I like thinking that even though I made mistakes in one year but in 2010 they don't really count. It is much like God's love for us. Any way...I am a list-maker and I like to make goals so I always make resolutions.

For 2010...
I resolve to exercise at least 5 times a week.
I resolve to eat proper food and not junk.
I resolve to treat everyone (not just the people I like) like I want to be treated.
I resolve to look to God instead of trying to handle things on my own.

These are a few I want to focus on. Now I have to come up with an action plan!

Reflections

Well, I like to think that I am an introspective person, but at this time of the year I really try to dig deep. This year feels as if it has been about loss. I lost a cousin (to a heart attack), a car (to a wreck), a part-time job, a boss (to a new job), friends (moved), and 25 pounds. On the other hand I have gained a closer relationship to some of my family, a promotion, a great new boss, and muscle tone. I guess the hardes thing that I have gained is a sense of lonliness. Never in my life did I picture myself being single at age 32. I have a new sense of familiarity with the song, "So lonely I could cry".

I know I have a pretty good life...God has blessed me with a job, a home, family, friends, a great church family and more. I am looking forward to seeing how God will use me in 2010.

SSB (Secret Single Behavior)

SSB stands for Secret Single Behavior. I am told that the saying comes from an episode of Sex & the City, but I am not sure. An SSB is something that you do as a single person that you wouldn't necessarily do if you were in front of other people. Yesterday, as I was doing a SSB I started thinking about just how many I have. I have been single for two and a half years now and so these behaviors have started adding up.

Confession is supposed to be good for the soul so here are my top SSBs:

• I love to eat potato salad and plain chips together. I have no clue why. I don't mix them up or anything. I sort of use the potato salad as a dip for the chips.
• I eat ice. In fact, I love to eat ice. It is annoying so I can only do it when I am by myself.
• I talk to my dogs. Not full on conversations, but I do talk to them.
• I can spend over an hour in the bathtub. It relaxes me, Ok?
• I work out to Dance Dance Revolution
• I sleep with the TV on
• I don't buy chips that often, but if I do and if I buy Cheetos puffs I eat them with a fork.

Those are the main ones. I am sure I have some other quirks but these are the top offenders. I wonder what other people's SSBs are like????

Loss of Martial relations?

Today's "Are you serious" moment comes from an article in the AJC.

Back in 2005 this man was shopping at Home Depot in Cobb County. A pallet of plywood fell from a forklift and trapped the man. The man had to have a couple of surgeries and since the accident injured his back and spine he could not do his construction job anymore. He was awarded $1.5 million dollars.

The icing to the cupcake though...his wife was awarded $30,000 for loss of marital relations. Am I the only person who finds this crazy? In my mind the court has put a price on sex. I would LOVE to know how the court came up with that amount. I definitely think that the husband should receive compensation...he was injured but the wife? No. Judge Judy always says that the purpose of a settlement (or lawsuit) is to put the plaintiff in the same position they were before the accident (or whatever) but not in a better position.

Anyway, this is just another thing that I don't understand...

That's so 2005!

I read articles on MSN.com almost everyday. The one that caught my eye yesterday is "20 fads that we regret" On the list: McMansions, zero down financing, credit card debt, $5 multi-syllabic coffee, granite countertops, Birkin bags, financing plastic surgery, thinking yourself thin (or rich), reality TV, mega SUVs, condos as investment properties, adjustable arm mortgages, flipping houses, and a few others.

I see a common theme with most of these items...it's all about excess..."Bigger is better"
I have to admit, I have only been guilty in indulging in a few of these: $5 coffee, reality tv, and credit card debt. I was a little late to the Starbucks fad. It wasn't until I discovered the Pumpkin Spice Latte and the Iced Peppermint Mocha (thank you, Miss Prince) that I really became a fan. I like a few different reality TV shows, and of course my broken down VW inducted me into the credit card debt hall of shame.

I will also admit that I used to really be caught up in materialistic things. Don't get me wrong, I still like to shop and to have things, but it seems like the older I get the cheaper I get. Example...when I was young, I wouldn't even cringe at paying $80 to $100 for a pair of jeans. Now, it is strictly $20 sales at Old Navy.

What drove us to be so obsessed with all of this stuff? I think part of it is because we can actually rationalize it. Our three (very) basic necessities in life are shelter, food, and clothing. So, technically, if anything you buy is part of one of those categories then you NEED it. This is when we get our needs confused with our wants. I need a suit and a pair of heels for work...I want an Armani suit and Jimmy Choo heels...you see the difference? I need a house to live in...I want a huge house equipped with a theater, basketball court, and pool. I need food to survive...I want fresh lobster, fillet Mignon, and $5 per cup coffee.

Personally, I feel the want of "more" has gotten our country in trouble. We have forgotten just how blessed we are. We have stopped enjoying the simple pleasures in life. I have been humbled this year. I was working two jobs in order to have more. In March I was in a car accident and I had to quit my second job and I have been without a car. Thankfully, I am OK and my car loan is paid (due to GAP ins). I was left with no transportation and unfortunately, I am still paying off old debt from another car. I can't really get another car unless I have another job as well...so what to do? I have decided to do without. I am paying off some bills, student loans, etc. and I am going back to school in January. Thankfully, I have a job where I can work from home and when I need to go into the office I take public transportation. I have a few great friends that take me other places when needed. I now have time to visit with friends, organize my house, cook, write, etc. I have slowed down...alot. I sleep more, and I am a much happier person. I am taking some advice from Hebrews (13:5) "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said "never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."

Has Women's Lib ruined us?

I was reading ajc.com this morning and saw that a retired female police officer stopped a bank robber by putting him in a choke hold. And in another story...unless you have been living under a rock for the past few months you have at least heard of Jon&Kate. On Monday they filed for divorce after ten years of marriage. Jon made the comment, "Kate ruled the roost and I finally stood up for myself and if felt good." I don't know who has seen the movie "Not Easily Broken", but the movie depicts a struggling marriage. Morris Chestnut plays the husband and his wife is a high-powered, very motivated real estate agent. He likes to spend his free time coaching underprivileged young boys. Anyway, during the movie he (Morris Chestnut) raises a good point...when man was first created he was the protector, the provider, the hero. Throughout time men have been judged on how well the protect and provide. At some point, women became their own heroes, their own providers, and their own protectors. There are a couple theories as to why this occurred: men weren't being the protector and provider so women had to step up to the plate, men took advantage of women so women just broke away and stopped trusting men. Now women can bring home the bacon, fry it up, have babies, and all while conducting multi-million dollar businesses from their Blackberry. It's almost as if men aren't needed...at least in a long term sense. But what good has come from all of this? Divorce rates have skyrocketed, no one is at home to supervise children, women STILL get paid less than men. But we have almost done ourselves a disservice. Not only are we expected to bring in a sizable income we are still expected to take care of the children, the husband, the house, etc. I know a lot of women that say you can have it all, but really, who are they trying to convince? You can only have so much on your plate at one time and then it just starts looking like mush and it falls off. The ONLY way it works is if you are part of a TEAM. I am not anti-women or anti-success. I think it is great to see women in power, but I think we as women have to be realistic. You can call me old-fashioned, but I believe the man should be the head of the family like God intended. Feminist types always get upset when someone says this because they think that women have to be a servant, but that is not what God said. If you read further, God says that the man should be the head just as Jesus is the head. Can you think of a time that Jesus was self-serving or treated women without respect? Can you think of a time that Jesus let others suffer? Uhm, no. Don't get me wrong...equality is great and all, but I miss the days when men opened your door, stood when you entered or left a room, gave up their seats, and gave you their coat. So in the words of Blanche (Golden Girls) "I don't wanted to be treated like your equal I want to be treated much, much better."

Statistics

I was in the office today and I am always assured of interesting discussion topics. Today we discussed the liklihood that I would find a potential life-mate in Atlanta. Metro Atlanta has a little over 5 million people. Here's the thing...First of all, Atlanta has one of the highest populations of gay men in the country...so of course, they are out of my count. Then, I also have to take out the men that are gay on the DL or bisexual. Then, the national statistic is that one in five people have and STD. Of course, all the married men are out of the count. Then, the national statistic is that one of every 75 men are in jail, so those guys are out of the running too. Seventy-seven percent of men (nationwide) actually work so 23 percent of the male population is out...(sorry, a job is mandatory). Oh, and l forgot to mention that nationwide there are 7.8 million more females than males but here in Atlanta, females outnumber males 11 to 1. These are just the big statistics...I haven't even factored in an acceptable age range and that he should be a Christian. So, what is the answer to how likely is it that I will find a life-mate in Atlanta? Well, I can tell you that statistics has never been my strong suit, but the answer to this question is: Slim to None!! I'm moving!!

Ode to White Bread

OK, so I have heard all of the health benefits of whole wheat bread. I know that you really aren't supposed to eat anything white (potatoes, bread, rice). But here's the deal...I have been eating whole wheat bread for years and I can't tell the difference. Don't get me wrong, I eat whole grain cereal, whole grain oatmeal, blah...blah..blah...I REALLY love white bread. I don't even eat bread of any variety very often. Heck, I won't even buy white bread at all. I am afraid the whole wheat police will jump out and arrest me. I just really miss fresh white bread. When I was a kid I remember opening a fresh loaf of Bunny Bread and enjoying a good ole PB&J. It isn't just the bread, it is all the memories associated with my childhood. Anyway...I was in Kroger today and I was actually craving white bread so I bought some. I came home and had nice grilled cheese. It was amazing. Anyway, I guess in times such as these it is easy to get bogged down with "stuff"and every once in awhile it is just good to sit down and enjoy the simple stuff.

The MARTA bus player

I guess a person will see just about everything on public transportation. I was watching Tyra today and the show was about spotting men that are no good. Well, unfortunately for me, I usually spot them a little too late, but I am getting better. Picture it...yesterday morning on the MARTA bus...I am sitting next to the window just minding my business. I really like to people watch so I am always interested in the people I see. A couple gets on the bus. The woman sat in front of me and the man sat beside me. (It was already crowded at this point) The couple talk and whisper and laugh. They both had on wedding bands and even kissed when the woman got off the bus. As soon as the woman stepped off the bus the man starts chatting me up. I never talk too much to strangers so I kept my answers short and sweet. The man's cell phone rings and he starts a conversation. Now, this conversation is clearly a female. He is talking sweet-talk, and saying other things that NO ONE should overhear. At the end of the call he says, "I love you too, baby." As we got off the bus, he slipped his wedding ring into his pocket.

It seems that whenever I start getting down about being single something happens to make me realize that I would rather be single than have to deal with a bad relationship. Unfortunately, in Atlanta, that guy is the rule and not the exception. Atlanta ranks number 3 or 4 for cheating cities. The ratio of women to men is off the charts. I guess that makes it easier for men to cheat. My observation just showed me that even a guy on the MARTA bus can be a player.